Orlando Arts Blog has an interview with Bonita Burton, the design editor who spearheaded the change.

One tip: If you are in fact doing that urine/fire bit every morning, TELL NO ONE. Ever.

Dear Baskin and/or Robbin,

It appears as though the location on Edgewater Drive in Orlando has come under new, grinchesque management, as this is now the second time I have arrived at your store to find that the promised “31 flavors” are actually more like 4 or 5. They were out of EVERYTHING. And again, this is not the FIRST TIME this has happened.

I love your ice cream, but you make it hard to love you. Perhaps this makes me love you more, and I have a problem regarding loving things that hurt me. I have not discounted the possibility.

Best, Matt

How could we have lived without it? Why, today ALONE, there is so much to recommend:

More people are riding the buses these days. Some of the bus riders need to take baths more often, especially during hot summer months. That person may be you.

People smell on the bus?! HOW DARE THEY?!

Thank you to the gentleman golfer at the WP Country Club for saving this lost soul with excellent directions to the WP Racquet Club. You really saved my day.

He can’t fool me…he means the golfer’s caddy gave directions to his limo driver.

The Orlando Sentinel: Giving a voice to rich douchebags and cranky snowbirds since 1876.

Apopka-area drug users might find cocaine a little harder to come by after the arrests of suspected dealers.

Well played, Bianca Prieto. Well played.

You know, the guy who is accused of taking a fat salary and spending school funds willy-nilly while the educational institution almost went bankrupt?

Man, if ever a dude deserved a punch in the face, it’s him. Turquoise turtleneck and all.

Apparently, there are nutjobs out there who are raising monkeys like they were kids. They even call them “monkids.” Aw, how cute.

Lori Johnson was lonely and depressed after her youngest son left home in 1992. She yearned for another child to love. So Johnson bought a baby monkey…

At Gemini Springs in DeBary recently, Johnson pushed “Jessy” around in a toy-filled red stroller, a sight that drew attention. “Hey, it’s a real monkey,” hollered one youngster, who did a double take.

Johnson replied with a grin: “That’s not a monkey; that’s my kid.”

Oh, you’re funny, you are. Equating a living, breathing, thinking HUMAN child with your self-indulgent whim to own and raise a freaking MONKEY. And you actually HAVE a real kid? Good gravy.

I notice this all the time–batty women (not usually men) who paste pictures of their pets up in their cubicles at work, maybe Fluffy or Spot sitting on Santa’s lap at Petco, and refer to these animals as their “kids.”

I’m sorry–I have a kid, and I’ve had pets, and PETS ARE NOT KIDS.

I know it’s easy to love a dog, or a cat, or even a monkey–I’ve been there myself. It’s only natural to develop bonds with these animals and I do believe the animals themselves share some sense of feeling and emotion and attachment. (Well, except cats–the only cats I ever knew were attached to their owners as long as the food, water, and litter kept coming. Those are some ruthless-ass beasts.)

BUT THEY’RE NOT HUMAN.

When we get a dog, and it dies, it will be upsetting, and I will be shaken, and “what a shame” and all that. Then I’ll get another dog, and life will go on.

If my daughter were to die, you would be RIPPING OUT PART OF MY SOUL.

So newsflash, people: “Monkids” are NOT KIDS; neither is Fluffy or Spot. Calling them “my kids” is not charming or amusing; it’s creepy and weird.

Police nab wild monkey with banana in west Orlando — OrlandoSentinel.com

*Yes, I realize monkeys are not apes. I think they aren’t, at least.

It will be part thrill ride and part animal attraction, a theme that visitors will experience from the time they take their place in line until the time they leave the post-ride area, said Joseph Couceiro, vice president of sales and marketing for SeaWorld’s parent company, Busch Entertainment Corp.

“It’s going to have animal components, marine-life components. It will have a very unique, state-of-the-art ride, a roller coaster if you will, that will provide a sensation of gliding,” Couceiro said. “The combination of the animals and the ride is what makes it special.”

As I’ve said, I’m relatively new to Orlando, so I don’t know if these periods of escalation between our theme park overlords are just cyclical. But it certainly seems as though Universal’s acquisition of Harry Potter is putting the other local players on notice…

…although I get the sense we’re still waiting for another shoe to drop over at the Mouse House–they’ve got that Toy Story Mania ride coming to Hollywood Studios but that’s hardly an E-ticket tentpole attraction. Night Kingdom, anyone?

Cause now that Orlando has had a few days to mourn the departure of Wendy Chioji, I think it’s time to address the future, and it is this:

Of course, that writing’s been on the wall long before Chioji’s departure…and I know Wendy seems to be playing it all cool. But then there’s this, from the Sentinel:

Last year, Sugalski took Chioji’s high-profile spot on the 11 p.m. news. They have co-anchored at 4 p.m. weekdays, and Chioji has been solo at 6.

Friends say Chioji was dismayed at Sugalski’s increased visibility; Chioji would not comment. But viewers started weighing in on what they saw as a changing of the guard.

I think the most notable bit in there is of course not what is said, but what remains unsaid–I mean, if Chioji was all right with the Sugalski Shuffle, then why not just toss out even a weak quote to diffuse the situation? Instead, the “no comment” is basically a “that skank took my job” without saying “Oh, by the way, THAT SKANK TOOK MY JOB, and you can quote me on that.”

Then there’s that last sentence, which is a bit of an understatement. Anecdotally, I’ve heard plenty of locals complaining about Martha; the word “stripper” has been invoked, on more than one occasion.

If you need more concrete proof, take a gander at the Sentinel’s legendary Ticked Off section, where it seems as though there’s a pretty consistent stream of venting about Ms. Sugalski. Here’s a classic from April 1:

I don’t watch Channel 35 morning news any more. I can’t stand Heidi’s rat tail when she turns her head. The same goes for Channel 2’s Martha. They need to take a look at the great new hairdo Andrea Jackson has on the daily news.

“Rat tail”? No, tell us what you REALLY think.

What did Martha ever do to y’all? The business of TV news is cyclical, and if Wendy Chioji has managed to stay in the same market at the same station for 20 years, then good for her. She’s leaving now. It doesn’t make Sugalski the villain of the story; it just means time marches on, and people change. Would you prefer an empty chair, draped in black, reserved for the Spirit of Chioji in her absence? Maybe a nightly satellite link-up so she can give us updates on how great her bike shop is doing?

I’m taking a stand. I’m not native to Orlando; I just moved here two years ago, and so I hold no allegiance to Team Wendy. She seems to do a nice job, and she seems to be a nice enough person.

But I’ve always enjoyed rooting for the underdog, so my choice is clear. Mark my words, Orlandonians: From this moment forward, I’m on Team Martha.

Via the Flatland Almanack blog comes Floridiana Gloriana, a page devoted to pretty pictures of Florida, minus the tourist stuff.

Some beautiful shots of flowers in Mount Dora, plus a nice cityscape of the City Beautiful itself taken from around Lake Eola. Worth a look, especially if like me, you’re just not ready to get to work yet.