Let’s hack the state off at Vero. Seriously, it’s time to cut our losses. I don’t know what’s up with the rest of this peninsula, but this can’t possibly be Florida. (And the Conchs seceded already, didn’t they? We just have to ditch Miami/Ft. Laurderdale now. I don’t think the Keys were ever ours to begin with.)

Check out this weird mall I saw down here. It reminds me of Pointe Orlando before they finally got the place fixed up. It’s a freaky, sterile, Art Deco collection of buildings that houses everything from steakhouses to shopping to grocery stores. It made me remember all those weird restrictions they put on the design of the new mall going up in Winter Garden next year–I wondered what they could possibly do to an outdoor mall to make it inhospitable, and…well…I now see that “pretty” does not automatically mean “inviting and comfortable.”

(You wouldn’t dare tell that to these people, though. Being cool or avant-garde comes long, long before form or function.)

But check this out: THERE IS A WHOLE FOODS MARKET THAT IS LARGER THAN PUBLIX. It makes ours look like a convenience store. You would not believe this place–foods I’d never heard of, in volumes I’d never imagined. As one of those organic-eating people, I thought I was going to faint from the overload. I talked to one of the managers (who was standing around doing nothing in their wide, open spaces…imagine!), and he says that’s the kind that’s going to be constructed on Sand Lake Rd. in a year or two. That place is going to close Chaimberlain’s down. It’s huge, organized, well-staffed, and cheaper, too.

Anyway, I’ll be back in Orlando soon. If you’re thinking of coming to the southern part of the state, my advice is to skip this mess and head straight to Naples. I haven’t been there in ages, but the other coast has gotta be better than this…

Related posts:

1. Blizzard Beach
2. Daytona Beach
3. Black Friday
4. Co-Author Slaying in Palm Coast.
5. What are the odds? (literally)