A Fate Worse than Death

I do not care for local news. During normal circumstances I find it to be a waste of time to even pay attention, but during storm situations such as this, I cannot rely on the BBC to accurately provide the details I may need such as where I can purchase fuel or drop off yard waste. Subsequently, I am constantly reminded why it is I, as a matter of habit, steer clear of local news outlets.

Normally the sensationalist attitude reigns, but during a storm it only worsens. Add to that mixture continuous coverage with little new or breaking stories and you have a recipe for the best of the worst repetitious and excitable luridness. I watch the local meteorologists salivating over Doppler radar and satellite imagery all the time looking like that kid in the candy shop we have all heard about. Even the advert channel (The Weather Channel as they are popularly known) adopts this attitude sending out well educated, eloquent and articulate professionals to trip over their own words whilst reporting on the storm surge, now increased by a whopping three centimetres. Now that is a breaking story.

And just when you think the apex of annoyance has been reached, you decide to mute the on-air personalities and simply learn more from their websites. What, you thought the internet would be a safe haven from all this? Sure enough, the three major news outlets in Orlando, WESH Channel 2, WKMG Channel 6 and WFTV Channel 9 all use the same company, Internet Broadcasting Systems, Inc., to publish content online. Take the chafing and constant reiteration of the live broadcast and combine it with one unfortunate web-based template and you have the gaudy website for all three stations. Good for IBS, bad for us.

I suppose this all might be more tolerable if you realise that hurricanes are simply the Super Bowl equivalent of news stories for local outlets and meteorologists. This is what they live for and train for daily. I suppose we should let them enjoy this moment and allow them to have their moment in the sun.

Then again, I do not watch the Super Bowl, either.

Addendum: A reporter on WESH just moments ago while giving live coastal information to viewers said, “…Juno to Jupiter Bitch.” Another classic moment in local television history. Personally, I would stick to New Smyrna Bitch, but that is just me.

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